True Happiness
by 7thstory
Summary: Sequel to I Just Want Him to be Happy. Nobody wanted 'Chiri to stay sad...Shounen-ai warning: NuriTas, and later TasChi. It can be read as a stand alone. I think...ch. 1 reposted due to an oddity I just noticed. Complete
1. Thinking

Ok, I realized something due to the reviews I received on I Just Want Him To Be Happy, namely: people liked that story...and also: people would actually read a sequel if I wrote it! So, since so many of you reviewers asked for a sequel: Here it is! I'm going to try to make it also work as a stand-alone.

By the way: to all of my 5 reviewers on I Just Want Him To Be Happy, you guys are the greatest. Thank you soo much for bothering to review my fic. I agree with you all: Tasuki/Chichiri is a WAY better couple than Tasuki/Nuriko. I've always known that, it's just that I got the idea for that fic, and, well, I couldn't help but write it.

And again: It's yaoi. If that bugs you, don't read it.

Anyway: I don't own FY. No matter how much I wish I did...

-------------- True Happiness --------------

I think he likes Miaka. Not just as a friend. We all like her like that. Nope, I think he's started to see her as something more than just our Miko. I'm kind of disappointed. Not in him--well, yes, a little in him, of course, but I'm more disappointed in myself.

Shouldn't it hurt more?

I mean, I thought I loved him. I thought I could be with him for the rest of my life and not ever want anyone else. Not that I do want anyone else, but, well, with that kind of feeling, it seems like you ought to be horribly sad if you think the one you love doesn't return your feelings.

I don't know it for sure, but I'm thinking maybe even if it isn't true that he likes Miaka, I ought to break it off. I just don't know how I feel about him anymore.

He's running towards me now. He's got that grin on his face, the one that used to make my heart turn over. It doesn't do that anymore, but it does make me feel happy. Hell, how can you not feel happy when there's someone next to you who's smiling like that?

He's telling me that Miaka and Tamahome figured out where the Shinzaho is, and how we're going to split into groups tomorrow to try to get it. I'm not really listening. I'm still wondering what I feel for the man standing next to me.

"Hello, Earth to Tasuki!" He's using one of the expressions he picked up from Miaka. "Anybody home? I was just saying that we probably ought to find the others." He looks at me expectantly.

"H'm? Oh, yeah, sure. Yer right, it's gettin' late."

He looks at me curiously for a second, trying to figure out what I'm thinking, I guess, then nods quickly and turns to lead me back to the inn we're staying at.

As we walk through the door, my eyes land on Chichiri. He's got his mask on. I hate that thing. What does he think he needs to hide, anyway?

As soon as he sees me watching him, he has his mask flash me a bright smile. Right. Like I don't know him well enough that his mask can't keep me from seeing that something's wrong. He looks away and tries to appear interested in a conversation Chiriko and Mitsukake are having.

He's been acting weird for a while now...a really long while...I shrug mentally and chalk it up to anxiety about the Shinzaho. But that's not right, I realize. He's been acting funny since before the Ceremony failed.

I'm yawning as I think about it, and that's when I see that Nuriko really was right about it being late. I glance at Chiriko. Why's he still up?

Well, whatever. Suddenly, I'm too tired to think about anything anymore.

" 'Night, everyone." I'm yawning again. I drag myself up the stairs to my room, ready to fall into bed, fervently hoping that things will make more sense in the morning.

------To be continued.

Sorry if this chapter's a little short. I just couldn't figure out how to break this thing into chapters, but I think this is the best way. I also thought that it was better to have Tasuki be unsure about how he felt about Nuriko before Nuriko died. Tasuki just seems like the kind of person who'd go on loving someone even after they died, so I thought he couldn't be in love with Nuriko when he died. I hope you like it so far. Tell me what you think! I need reviews, because if I don't get any, this story just might end up collecting dust.

--Mikazuki 


	2. Deciding

Yay! I have reviews! Thank you guys so much. It means a lot to me. ^__^ Special thanks to RyogazGal. I'm not sure my friends are against yaoi in general, but they're very likely against Tazchi. One of them is a Tasuki no Miko. And considering one of them couldn't even say the word "gay" over IM (he said: "I didn't know Tomo wasyou know") I get the feeling they might not like it much. Other than that, they're great. Also, I know it's Shinzaho, I was just trying to do the little line thing over the "o", but the browser doesn't accept it. Oh, well. Anyway, I was thankful to get your review. This also applies to Fujimaya Maru, Charlie, Xellas M., PandaBear007, shadow priestess and Moonraven. You guys (and girls) are great. 

Disclaimer: not mine*sniff*

Warning: this story's still yaoi, like it was last chapter

-----------------True Happiness-------------------

He's been watching me, and it's making me a little nervous. He's always got this sort of half-curious, half-just-plain-puzzled look on his face. I keep my mask firmly in place, glad to have something to hide the sadness with. 

I avoid him whenever I can, and at the same time I go out of my way to be near him. I don't want him to start asking me questions, but I want to see him smile, hear him laugh. It's worth whatever pain it causes.

The others have noticed that I'm quieter than normal. It's drawn several confused looks, but so far nobody's asked me about anything. I'm glad about that, anyway.

He yawns and mutters goodnight before heading upstairs. I watch him walk away. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Nuriko watching him, too. The difference is that Nuriko gets up to follow him while I stay seated, hoping Tasuki won't notice that I was looking at him. Feeling sort of flat, and not wanting to think what will happen whe Nuriko and Tasuki reach Tasuki's room, I leave the group as well. I tell everyone that I want to turn in early so I'll be as rested as possible tomorrow when we go to look for the Shinzaho. I hope I sound cheerful. I think I do.

Lately I've gotten better at lying.

***

I stumble tiredly up the stairs, not noticing Nuriko behind me until I hear him. 

"Ne, Tasuki-kun, are you all right? You seem a littledistant."

To my surprise, I'm a little annoyed that he followed me. I push that feeling away quickly and assure Nuriko that I'm fine. Then I decide that this is as good a time as any to talk to him.

"Listen, Nuriko, II gotta talk t' ya."

I look him in the eye. I can see nervousness there, andsomething else too. He looks almost as though he knows what I'm going to say. 

"I" I'm not sure what to say. 'I think you're in love with Miaka' sounds stupid, and 'Do you really like me?' sounds insecure, and 'I don't think I'm in love with you anymore' sounds heartless"I've just been thinking about usI'm not sure about some stuffan', well" I end up shrugging helplessly.

Nuriko nods sadly, as though he expected it. "II'm not sure either. I thought that I'dthat I could be happy with you" he pauses and sees a slightly hurt look on my face. "And I was, don't get me wrong, it's just that lately, well, it hasn't felt quite right. Like maybe"

"Like maybeit ain't supposed t' be this way?" I suggest.

He nods again. "That's it, exactly. It's like a voice I can't quite hear is telling me that things should be different, and I'm not sure how to react."

I'm shocked. Now that I think about it, that's precisely what I was feeling, without knowing how to describe it. I nod.

"So, how are ya gonna react?" I ask, although I already know the answer.

He knows that I know, so he just smiles weakly and says, "Still friends?"

I stare at him in disbelief. How can he even ask? "Ya damn well better not stop being my friend 'cause ya broke up with me!"

He raises his eyebrows. "I broke up with you? I was under the impression that you started this conversation, Tasuki-kun." He laughs a little, and any tension left after my comment is gone. I smile, and he leaves.

Somehow, I feel sadder than I expected. I can't help feeling like I might not get to laugh with Nuriko againand even if I don't love him, I do love him, andnow I'm more confused than ever.

***

Breakfast the next day isinteresting. We're splitting into groups and Tamahome and Tasuki are teasing Nuriko about how much he looks like a girl, and how he won't be able to go anywhere without getting "hit on". It's true, Nuriko has drawn stares from men and women alike since we've arrived. Nuriko says something about how, if his looking like a girl is so much of a problem, maybe he should fix it. 

He shocks everyone in the room, even those who don't know him, by pulling his hair around over his shoulder and slicing cleanly through it.

Everyone is silent until Nuriko speaks, saying that we should continue with our plans. We do so. It is decided that Nuriko will go with Tamahome and Miaka, since there is no one to be his partner.

And so we set out.

--To be continued

Yeah! Another chapter done! I also would like to say that I'm sorry for the thin layer of dust that accumulated on this fic. I know I promised that if I got reviews, there would be no dust collectingI hope you can forgive me and review the chapter::grin::


	3. Hurting

All I can say is, you had better appreciate this chapter. I watched Episode 33 over again to write this 

Disclaimer: If you've read this far and you _still_ think I own FY, I suggest you seek help.

Warnings: Oh, come on. Like you don't know he story's yaoi by now

--------------_True Happiness_--------------

We all felt it at the same time.

It was a horrible, cold grip at our hearts, part physical pain, part intense sorrow.

Chiriko looked up at me.

"Did you feel that, just now, Chichiri-san?"

"Something must have happened to one of our warriors," I replied. _Tasuki?_

I knew it wasn't, though. I knew that chi.

I kicked the horse into a gallop and headed for Mt. Black. I could feel the life-force of my injured companion draining away.

__

Suzaku, let Mitsukake get there in time"

Chiriko and I met Tasuki and Mitsukake at the foot of the mountain. They were both wearing the same expression, which closely matched Chiriko's. I imagined I must look much the same.

Without speaking, we started up the mountain, only to be stopped by a wave of cold that reached into our very bones and left with a piece of our hearts.

We ran.

We raced up the mountain as though our lives depended on it, as though only by running could we escape the truth that was slowly working its way into our minds.

The top of the mountain was a glittering, snow-white expanse, broken only by a hill with a door set into the side. Beyond that door, we knew, lay the Shinzaho.

None of us cared.

Our attention was focused on the three figures in front of the door, two of them leaning over the third. He was lying on the snow he himself had tamped down during his fight, snow that was spattered with his own blood.

Tamahome rose, trying to tell us what he didn't want to admit to himself. To tell us what we already knew, but didn't want to believe.

Nuriko was dead.

I took off my mask. I didn't cry. I couldn't understand it enough to cry. 

But Miaka did, and Chiriko, and Tasuki

__

Tasuki

It was painful to watch him. Painful to see him telling Nuriko that he couldn't be fooled as easily as Tamahome. Painful to watch his orders for Nuriko to get up grow more urgent. Painful to see him turning and begging, ordering, pleading with Mitsukake to heal Nuriko. Painful to see his pleading turn into frantic denials, saying that Nuriko had been laughing and talking only yesterday

It was painful to see him finally slump against a rock, his eyes empty, tears streaming down his cheeks.

But I didn't cry until later, until after we'd retrieved the Shinzaho, only to have it stolen by the wolf-man who'd killed Nuriko. After that, the whole day crashed in on me, and I finally let myself be sorrowful.

I cried for Miaka, for the loss of the man who, strange as it might seem, had been like a sister to her. I cried for Tamahome, who must be sad himself, but who felt he had to remain strong for the girl he loved. I cried for Chiriko, who had o know the pain of a death so young. I cried for Mitsukake. I knew he must blame himself for not being there, though no one else blamed him. I cried for Hotohori, who had felt the loss, but couldn't understand it. I cried for Tasuki who had lost his lover and one of his best friends. 

But most of all, I cried for Nuriko.

He died so young, with so much of his life ahead of him. So many years f hope, joy, pain, laughter and tearsgone. Never to be lived. I cried for all of that.

It was only hours later, when I'd cried myself out, that I realized that there was someone I hadn't cried for.

Myself. 

---To Be Continued

Ok, it was awful, I know, but I've never written an Episode 33 fic beforecan you cut me a little slack? And don't worry, of course I'm going to write a chapter about getting the Shinzaho. It'll be Tasuki POV, I think. I've been on Chichiri for a whileAnyway, tell me what you think! Don't think that just because you reviewed once I don't want to hear from you again. I value all of my reader's opinions.

~Mikazuki


	4. Wondering

Gomen, minna! I had this done yesterday, but I couldn't post it because FF.net was downThis is the chapter about getting the Shinzaho, like I promised. I hope you like it! Oh, and I added a night in that wasn't there. At least, I don't think it wasoh, well.

Disclaimer: Fill it in yourself. I'm sick of saying it.

Warnings: STILL yaoithough only a little in this chapter

Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last two chapters. Sorry I forgot to thank you last timeyou guys are the best! You're what keep me writing.

----------True Happiness-----------

We stood in front of the doors in the rock. For a minute no one moved, and then Tamahome observed, "It's opening"

And it was. We watched curiously as the doors swung out to reveal a long tunnel, coated in ice.

Miaka murmured, "it's darkand cold"

"Something's not right, no da" Chichiri said, emerging from his thoughts. "We killed one of the Seiryu seven. Shouldn't they have launched a counterattack, no da?"

I was amazed that he had recovered enough from Nuriko's death to say something other than the blatantly obvious. Nobody else seemed to be so far along. Chichiri hadn't even cried over Nuriko. He'd finally taken that mask of his off, so I could tell. 

Glancing at him, I could see that said mask was firmly in place again. I would have glared at it, but that would have raised eyebrows, and what could I say? I like seeing Chichiri's face'?

For some reason, the thought made me blush. Fortunately, nobody noticed.

We walked down the tunnel. When we were a few yards down it, There was an ominous clang from behind us. We all turned, although we knew what we'd find. 

"They closed, no da!" Chichiri exclaimed.

Okay, maybe he wasn't out of the blatantly obvious' phase yet.

With a slightly nervous feeling in the pit of our stomachs, we turned back to walk further down the tunnel. I was getting a little annoyed at the fact that the tunnel didn't seem to end when Miaka slipped on something. She quickly assured us that she was all right, and that she'd just tripped.

"Here, let me get some light in here,"

The tunnel was suddenly full of light. We could see what Miaka'd tripped over, but I personally wished that we couldn't.

"They're bones!" Miaka cried.

Like I said: blatantly obvious.

"Yup, that's what they are, all right," I told her.

Someone else pointed out that they were _human_ bones. I didn't notice who it was. I was a little distracted by the sharp shards of ice that suddenly rained on us from nowhere.

We looked up, only to see these two shadows surrounded by green light who told us that we wouldn't be successful in our search for the Shinzaho. I glared at them. I hadn't come all this way and lost one of my best friends just to have some glowing bastards tell me I wasn't going to make it. 

Apparently Miaka hadn't either. She demanded that they show themselves. So they did. And they attacked us a few more times. We quickly found out that they didn't have any bodies, and therefore we couldn't hurt them. They were Genbu Seishi who'd abandoned their bodies almost 200 years ago. Fortunately, all they had was ice, and my tessen can take that any day.

Well, I _thought _all they had was ice. Turns out I was wrong. The one with the weird hat, who called himself Tomite', put this energy ring around Tamahome. He told us it would get smaller and smaller until it sliced Tamahome in half.

What was with these guys?

But Tamahome wasn't ready to die yet. He somehow managed to shatter the ring. I prepared myself for more attacks.

They didn't come.

Then I saw why. Miaka had begged the ghost people–Tomite and his friend Hikitsu–to let us pass. She was willing to do anything, she said, if they'd let us get to the Shinzaho.

They replied that they'd let us pass if she could prove that she really was the Suzaku no Miko.

Too late, Tamahome warned her that she didn't know what they'd do to her. But Miaka was adamant; anyway, she said, she'd already agreed.

"Very well," Tomite said. "Then take off all your clothes."

We were all shocked. 

"This is how you decide if she's worthy of the Shinzaho or not?!" Tamahome yelled.

"Yer nothin' but a coupla see-through perverts!" I added.

"All right!" Miaka said, determined. "I'll do it!" 

"Nobody look at her!" Tamahome ordered, and promptly clamped his hand over my eyes. Oh, right, like _I'm _the one heneeds to keep from looking. I don't even _like_ girls!

I could only assume Miaka stripped, because the next thing I heard was Tamahome sounding disappointed, asking, "She doesn't have to go all the way?"

Someone should've covered _his_ eyes.

At that I, pushed his hand off my eyes. Sure enough, Miaka was there in her underwear. That wasn't something I really wanted to see 

Then, one–or maybe both, Chichiri'd know better, he knows about magic–of the Genbu Seishi made this bluish ice start to cover her, from the feet up. 

"If she really is the Miko," Hikitsu said, "she'll try to hold out until the end."

The ice crept steadily up Miaka's body. 

"Miaka! Stop! You'll die!" But Miaka wasn't listening, or maybe she just didn't hear. Anyway, she gave no sign that she knew Tamahome'd said anything. She just stood there, shivering, as the ice climbed higher. Tamahome threw himself towards her, but he bounced off a hard surface that none of us had noticed.

"You fool," one of the Genbu said. "She is already surrounded by a wall of ice."

Finally, the ice had covered her completely.

"Soon her heart will stop." Hikitsu sounded almost cheerful. "She was only a normal girl after all."

"MIAKA!!" Tamahome slumped against the ice wall, utterly defeated.

Then, Nuriko's bracelets, which Miaka'd taken when he died, started to glow bright red. "Look, Tamahome, something's happening"

Glowing red cracks were forming in the ice. Then, in a burst of white light, the ice around Miaka shattered. In a shivering glow of red, the bracers on Miaka's arms became bracelets again.

Hikitsu and Tomite were surprised. 

They apologized for attacking the Suzaku Seishi. I guess now they believed us. They led us down the tunnel. We stopped in front of two huge doors. 

"These doors are kept shut by the strength of our will," one of the Genbu Seishi said. "It is time we opened them."

The doors slowly swung open, grating over the icy floor. 

"It's beautiful!" Miaka said.

The room beyond the doors was white and pale green. It was long, and at the far end there were pillars. Between the center pillars stood a pedestal. The pillars and the pedestal were all made of a bright white material that could have been marble, but with these guys, ice wouldn't have surprised me a bit.

"We will lead the Suzaku no Miko to the Shinzaho." 

"Oh, so we aren't invited, huh?" _That_ pissed me off. 

"Maa, maa, Tasuki" Chichiri turned to me.

I made a face, but tried to calm down as he suggested. Making these guys mad again wasn't something we wanted to do. Who knew what they'd do to Miaka this time?

Miaka took the Shinzaho off of the pedestal. Everything was all happy until

"I'm sorry, but that Shinzaho alone isn't enough to summon Suzaku."

We all whirled to face the Genbu warriors.

"What do you mean we can't summon Suzaku?" Miaka demanded.

"Without the other Shinzaho from Sairo, you cannot release the power of this one."

"Now I remember, no da," Chichiri said sheepishly. "Taiitsukun said _First _you must go north to Hokkan' no da"

"Well, why didn't she make that clearer in the first place?!" I yelled.

Tamahome just stood off to one side, looking distraught.

"Poor guy," someone said. "He's in shock."

Miaka decided that since we'd come this far, we couldn't turn back now. 

So we were headed to Sairo. We walked out of the cave and a wolf immediately pounced upon Miaka. It snatched the Shinzaho, then turned to grin evilly at us. That's when we saw that it had only one eye.

"That wolf has only one eye!" Miaka exclaimed. "It's him! Ashitare"

The wolf began to lope away. Miaka chased after it, yelling, "Give that back! It's not fair!"

Tamahome and I ran after her, but somehow we lost sight of her pretty quickly. After we'd been looking for a while, I tuned to Tamahome.

"When girls run away, they don' go this far."

He didn't listen to me. He just kept yelling for Miaka. I tried again.

"I'm tellin' ya, when girls run away, they don' go this far!"

He blew up. "Fine! If you don't think she's out here, just go back! I'll find her myself! I don't need you!"

"Fine!" I sneered. I'd find Miaka on the way back. Then maybe he'd believe me about girls running away. With five sisters, I ought to know.

I guess Miaka isn't like my sisters, though, because I couldn't find her on my way back, and I looked pretty hard.

I got back to where Mitsukake, Chiriko and Chichiri were waiting with the horses. They all wanted to know where Tamahome and Miaka were. 

"Lookin' fer each other, I hope," I said.

A little while later, one of the people in question showed up.

Tamahome told us that he'd seen Taiitsukun, and she'd said that Miaka had worn herself out and she was resting somewhere safe. "Taiitsukun will bring her to us when she's feeling better."

We started out for Sairo. Tamahome, Chiriko, Mitsukake and I were all worried about Miaka, I could tell, but Chichiri was wearing that damn mask of his again. Still, he must have been a little worried.

That night we stayed at an inn. Chichiri turned in early again, almost as soon as we got there, in fact._ 'Well, why shouldn't he be tired?' _I thought. _'It was a long day.'_ Still, there was a quaver in his voice that I didn't like. I wasn't used to a sad Chichiri. Unnaturally quiet was bad enough, but crying

I'm not sure how long my thoughts moved that way before I had an idea: Why don't I go check on him, if I felt so bad?

__

'Idiot' I thought, as soon as that thought surfaced _'If he's crying, he probably wants to be alone. I don't like having people around when I'm crying.'_

'You don't mind the right people' A new voice joined my thoughts. _'You wouldn't mind if Chichiri wanted to comfort you when you were sad...'_

My eyes widened. 

It was true.

What's _that_ mean?

__

'Anyway, I'm not the right person to comfort him. I'm probably the last one he wants to see.' I reasoned with myself, trying to figure out why it mattered so much to me that Chichiri was sad and wouldn't want to see me.

By this time, I was sort of tired myself. I headed up to my room, pausing for no good reason at the door of Chichiri's room.

I could hear Chichiri's breathing, loud and slightly ragged, the way it might sound if he'd been crying. The little voice at the back of my brain got the better of me.

"Chichiri?" I called softly. "Are ya all right?"

Receiving no answer, I opened the door. 

Chichiri was lying on his bed, turned away from me. "Chichiri?" I asked again.

He still didn't even act as though he knew I was there. I walked around to the other side of the bed, and I saw why he hadn't answered.

He was asleep.

He wasn't wearing his mask. It lay on the table beside him. By the moonlight that lit his face, I could tell that he'd been crying. His eyes were red-rimmed, and his face still looked sad. His cheeks were tear-stained. I looked closer. Even now, while he was asleep, there were still tears running down his face. The sight sent a pang into my heart. Almost unable to keep my hand from moving, I reached forward to brush a tear away. He stirred slightly, and I pulled my hand away. He murmured something too soft for me to hear. 

I rose to go, looking one more time at his sad, sleeping face. He spoke again, and by the way his lips moved, I could almost swear he'd said _Tasuki_

I turned away. That had to be my imagination. 

But why would I imagine something like that?

"Sweet dreams, Chichiri," I whispered, and then I left the room. 

-----To Be Continued.

Wow. This chapter turned out waaay longer than I expectedI hope that's OK. I also hope that that night I added is OK with you guys. I had to do it, or I wouldn't have been able to fit in that Tasuki/Chichiri scene. I hope you'll forgive me. I'm not sure I wrote Tasuki very well. I identify better with ChichiriReview and tell me what you think, and if you have any pointers, I'd love to hear them!

~Mikazuki


	5. Caring

I know you all say that my dust-collecting isn't bad compared to yours, but I still feel bad when I take too long to get a new chapter up... ::shrug:: Anyway, this chapter contains the infamous drunk Tasuki scene. ^_~ I hope you enjoy it! I am now officially improvising. I have a hard time planning stories out. I'll try to keep this one from getting too far off track.   
  
Disclaimer: Does anyone know how I can buy FY? Or at least a couple characters?   
  
Warning: You've read this far and you don't know it's yaoi?   
  
  
  
--------------True Happiness--------------   
  
  
  
I'm wondering where Tamahome is. He rode off yesterday, no explanation; he just turned and left. I can only assume he was looking for Miaka. This left Chichiri, Chiriko, Mitsukake and me to look for a place to camp, since we were now solidly in the middle of the desert.   
  
At least, it looked that way for a while. Then, just before sunrise, we spotted lights.   
  
"Is that Sairou, no da?" Chichiri asked.   
  
"What else could it be?" Chiriko replied.   
  
We headed for the lights, which spread across the sand dunes like a web. "It wasn't such a long ride, after all," I said.   
  
The city was busy. Chichiri stopped a passerby and asked if we were in Sairou. The man replied that yes, we were.   


"Well, we can just wait here for Miaka and Tamahome, no da!" Chichiri said happily.

So that's what we decided to do.

***

We somehow managed to find someone who would allow us to stay in their house. It was a beautiful house; large, with its own library, and comfortable rooms. 

Tasuki had quickly discovered what was, to his mind, the most pleasant feature of the house. I walked into his room to see him sitting at a table with a near-empty bowl of sake in front of him. It was immediately clear that this wasn't his first, either. How did I know? Well, for one thing, he didn't act sober. For another, the table was covered with sake bowls...

And then there was the fact that he wasn't wearing a shirt.

I turned bright red behind my mask and looked back at the door I'd just come through. It was too late. Tasuki had seen me.

"Hey, Chichiri!" He began, only to be cut off by the arrival of a servant.

"Would you like some more sake, sir?"

"Yeah, if it ain't too much trouble for ya…" Tasuki grinned as the servant left. "Isn' the hostess great, t' let us stay in this house? They even give ya all the sake y'want!"

I nodded, distracted. "Do you know where Mitsukake and Chiriko are?"

"I think Chiriko's in the library, studyin'," he slurred. "An' Mitsukake's researchin' medicine, 'r somethin'."

"I wanted to contact Hotohori-sama, but something's interfering with my magic...I'm worried," I started to explain, but stopped. Tasuki obviously wasn't listening to me. He was yelling something about breasts, and Miaka dumping hair all over the place, making various gestures with two sake bowls from the table. I sighed and shook my head.

I left for a few minutes to track down the servant who had promised Tasuki more sake. I informed him that Tasuki wasn't in any condition to drink more, and asked him to please forget about bringing the drink. He nodded, wearing the same impassive expression as everyone I'd seen since arriving in Sairou. It was starting to grind on my nerves, and I wondered if this was how people felt when I wore my mask all the time.

I walked slowly back to Tasuki's room, wanting to make sure he was going to be all right, but also not sure I could deal with seeing the bandit shirtless again. 

I didn't have to worry. When I got back to his room, I found that Tasuki had fallen asleep on the floor. I shook my head again, but I was smiling this time. I lifted him onto the bed and pulled the thin sheet over him.

"Sweet dreams, Tasuki," I murmured, and pulled a chair over to the side of the bed. Tasuki was going to have an awful hangover when he woke up, and I doubted Mitsukake would use his once-a-day healing on that. I wasn't sure about my ability to help hangovers, but I'd try.

Tasuki smiled at something he was dreaming, his fangs poking out slightly over his lower lip. His face looked so peaceful. Late-afternoon sunlight shone through the widow, lighting his hair and making it look even more like fire than usual. The room was quiet, and I could hear his breathing, slow and even. I watched his chest rise and fall in time with the breaths.

Tasuki whispered something in his sleep. I didn't hear it, but then he repeated it, louder.

"Nuriko!"

My heart froze, then made an odd attempt at beating that was worse than the feeling when it had stopped. '_Idiot,'_ I cursed myself. '_You knew he was with Nuriko.' _ I stood up, wanting to leave, but I couldn't. When he woke up, Tasuki would feel awful. Aside from Mitsukake, I was the only one of us with any knowledge of healing.

As I made myself sit down, a single tear slipped off my cheek and landed on Tasuki's hand.

-------To be continued.

Poor Chichiri, getting the wrong idea about that dream... somebody should've told him Tasuki and Nuriko broke up. Sorry this chapter's so short. The next chapter will explain the dream. I ought to have it up soon—Really soon, in fact, since I already know what's going to happen. I know I told you I was improvising, but I do have the next chapter clear ::grin:: Anyway, tell me what you think! Reviews are greatly appreciated.

~Mikazuki


	6. Dreaming

Here it is: The chapter I promised you explaining the dream that Tasuki had. I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: What do you think?

Warnings: Yaoi. Just like the other five chapters.

---------True Happiness---------

I was standing in a field full of flowers. Butterflies were fluttering around them. The sun was shining, and the sky was completely clear. Those should've been my first clues.

Oddly enough, it wasn't until I saw the purple-haired man a few feet away that I realized I was dreaming. "Nuriko..." I whispered. He didn't turn.

"Nuriko!" I called.

He turned to me, a brilliant smile on his face. "Tasuki! You wouldn't believe how good it is to see you!"

I grinned. "Of course I would."

He laughed. "You haven't changed."

"Well, I'd say ya hadn't either, but...yer dead...ain't ya?"

"Still just as tactless, I see..." His smile slipped slightly.

"Ahh, gomen, I didn' mean t'offend ya..."

"It's all right. You weren't thinking." He grinned slightly. "Not that you often do..."

I put on a wounded expression. "Did'ja come here just ta insult me?"

"Hardly." His face turned serious.

"Oh, I get it." I was still grinning. "Y'missed me."

"That's not it, either..."

"Aw, c'mon. Admit it, ya did miss me."

"All right." He rolled his eyes. "I missed you. But that isn't why I came."

"Then...why're ya here?" 

"Just to give you some friendly advice."

I raised an eyebrow. "What's that?"

"Advice from a friend, baka!"

I whacked him. "No, I mean, what's yer advice?"

"Open your eyes."

"What, _now?_ I'll wake up if I open my eyes _now!_"

"Not _now_, and not literally!" He sounded annoyed.

"Well, then, what th' hell d'ya mean, 'Open yer eyes'?"

"Think for a minute." He looked thoughtful. "What do you think you'd see if you opened your eyes right now?"

"Um...my...room?"

"No."

"What, somebody moved me?" I tried to look shocked. I knew that couldn't be what Nuriko meant, but I liked to tease him. I always have.

"No!" Nuriko smacked his head in frustration. He took a few deep breaths. "Let me rephrase the question. _Who_ do you think you'd see if you opened your eyes right now?"

I blinked. I didn't share a room with anyone... "I dunno...nobody, I guess."

"Wrong."

"Well, then, who'd I see?"

Nuriko smiled. "I'll show you."

He pointed over at a stream a little ways away. I could have sworn it hadn't been there before...

I moved closer to it. As I approached, I could see that there was a chair set by the edge of the stream. In the chair...

"Chichiri?!" I couldn't believe it. "Why's he in my room?"

"Go closer and look at him."

I walked up to Chichiri's chair and looked him in the face. There were tears running down his cheeks.

"He's cryin'...? He's in my room an' he's cryin'?" A sudden thought hit me. "Ne, Nuriko, I know th' time t'clarify this's passed, but...I ain't dead, am I?"

"No, you're still alive, though if Chichiri had let you drink much more sake, the answer to that question might be different."

"Sake...?"

"You were drinking sake and you passed out. Chichiri's staying with you while you sleep it off because he's worried."

"He's...worried abou' me?" That came as a surprise. 

"Of course he's worried about you. He's your friend, isn't he?" The word 'friend' carried the slightest possible stress, as though Nuriko knew it would strike a nerve.

"A'...a'course he's my friend." I frowned. Why did that bother me?

Nuriko smiled. "Friends worry when you drink yourself into a stupor. It's natural."

"But why's he cryin'? He can't be that worried abou' me, I'm still breathin',"

"Think about it," he said, and then he turned away and disappeared. 

Which left me in the middle of this field, with Nuriko's advice still bouncing around in my head.

Open your eyes. 

So I did.

-----To Be Continued

Ok, originally I was going to have this chapter be a bit longer, but I decided to put that into the next chapter, which also ought to be up pretty soon, though probably not as quickly as this one. Sorry if I'm making Tasuki seem stupid by not letting him realize how he feels about Chichiri. Tasuki's just still devastated over Nuriko's death, and still a little confused over how he felt about Nuriko. He doesn't think he's ready to love anyone else yet.

Fortunately, I do, which is why I wrote this. ::grin::

~Mikazuki


	7. Realizing

Thank you to all of my reviewers on the past few chapters! I realized while I was writing the last chapter that somewhere around chapter three I switched the voice of the story from present tense to past tense. ::shrug:: I have no idea why that happened.

Disclaimer: I don't own FY.

Warning: It's still got yaoi in it. 

---------True Happiness--------

The room was dim, to my great relief. As soon as I opened my eyes, I'd become aware of the splitting headache I had, and I was sure sunlight wouldn't help a great deal. I took deep breaths, trying not to think about the headache. Or, actually, think at all, because thinking was rather painful at the moment. Slowly I turned over, wincing as the room twitched oddly. 

Chichiri was sitting in the chair beside my bed.

I blinked. Even with the dream I'd had, I couldn't quite believe that Chichiri was actually in my room. But here he was, solid and real, in the chair by my bed. He was asleep, but he was _there._

Focusing my eyes on his face made my head protest, but I did it anyway. He wasn't wearing his mask, and I could see that his face held a slight sadness. His cheeks were tearstained, showing that he had, in fact, been crying, as I'd seen in my dream.

As I watched him, his eye opened, then widened in surprise. "You're awake, no da!" he murmured, reaching for his mask.

I freed one arm from the sheet and reached out my hand "Don't..." I croaked.

He looked at me, confused.

"Why do ya think ya gotta wear that thing all th' time?" I asked hoarsely. My throat was dry.

"Seeing my real face bothers most people, no da."

"Don' gimme that."

He blinked.

"Ya gotta know by now that yer friends don' care how ya look."

"Well, I guess not, no da," he said, but the mask stayed in the air halfway to his face.

"What's yer real reason, then?"

He just looked at the floor, avoiding my eyes.

"All right," I turned away from him, annoyed. "Wear the damn thing. It don't matter."

There was a soft sound behind me, and when I turned back to Chichiri, I saw that he'd put the mask on the table beside him. He was watching me, with a look in his eye that I didn't understand.

I grinned at him, not quite sure why I was so happy that he hadn't put the mask on.

He smiled back. "How do you feel, no da?"

"Like shit," I said cheerfully.

"Headache, no da?"

"Yeah, no da."

He reached forward and placed one hand on my forehead. His touch was cool, and my heart made an odd, skipping jump that left my cheeks warm.

"Are you making fun of me, na no da?" There was laughter in his voice, and when I turned to look at him, he was smiling broadly.

"A'course not, no da," I said, making my voice sound offended. "I think odd speech patterns're contagious, no da."

"Maybe you'd better see Mitsukake after all, no da." He took his hand off of my forehead. "Unless you're feeling better?"

My mouth opened in surprise. My headache was completely gone. "Wha...How'd ya do that?"

"To put it simply, no da, I isolated the pain in your head from the rest of your senses and formed a ward around it. The pain's still there, you just can't feel it."

"Sugoi!" I exclaimed. "I gotta remember you can do that, 'Chiri, it'll make life a helluva lot easier..." I broke off in surprise.

Had I just called him "'Chiri?" 

I looked at him.

" 'Chiri', no da?"

Apparently I had.

"Hey, it's easier'n sayin' 'Chichiri' all th' time," I said.

Suddenly he smiled. "All right, Tas, no da."

" 'Tas'?"

"Hey, it's easier'n sayin' 'Tasuki' all th' time," he said

I laughed at his impression of me. It was actually pretty good.

He tilted his head to one side and put on an expression that would have been an evil grin on anyone else. But Chichiri didn't grin evilly...

Did he?

"Unless...you'd prefer 'Tas-_chan_ no da..."

My face went serious. "Only if I can call you" ::grin:: " 'Chiri-chan',"

He laughed. "Maybe not, no da..."

"Aw..." I laughed with him.

"No 'chan', no da." He said firmly. "Call me Chiri if you must, but no 'chan'."

"All right!"

"But I warn you, if you do call me 'Chiri', I'm going to call you 'Tas', no da."

I blinked at him.

He blinked back at me.

"Aw, all right..."

Chichiri laughed.

Suddenly there was the sound of feet running in the hall outside my room. Chiriko popped his head in the doorway.

"Chichiri-san!" he called. "I found something I think you'd be interested in reading."

Chichiri picked up his mask. "See you later, Tas, no da," he flashed me a last grin before fixing his mask into place. He stepped out of the room.

Which left me alone, trying to figure out why I felt so resentful of Chiriko.

__

'He took 'Chiri away.'

I brushed the thought away. That was absurd. I could see Chichiri whenever I wanted. I could put on a shirt and see him in the library right now. 

__

'He took 'Chiri away from you when you were alone together.'

I shook my head in disgust. That was stupid, utterly stupid.

__

'If it's so stupid, then how do you explain the way you felt when he touched you?'

He was messing around with my senses then. That weird heartbeat could've been caused by some weird reaction to that.

__

''That weird heartbeat' felt like a stronger version of what Nuriko's smile used to do to you.'

The voice at the back of my head was making it sound like I was in love with him.

__

'Baka! You ARE in love with him.'

I sat bolt upright. "No, that can't be right..."

And yet, when I thought about it, it made perfect sense. Everything that had been confusing me for the past few days fell into place.

My eyes widened.

Shit.

Of all the times for the voice in the back of my head to be right...

I'd fallen in love with a monk.

--------To Be Continued

Tasuki's not clueless anymore! My vacation is almost over...::sob:: I won't be able to post as regularly...But I think I'll only need a couple more chapters to finish this thing, so hopefully it won't take too long. I'm trying to make up for the lack of time later by posting lot now. I hope the rush hasn't made the quality of the chapters go down. I know it may have affected the length, but as long as the story gets done, chapter length doesn't matter, right? ::ramble ramble:: Ok, I'll stop talking now.

~Mikazuki


	8. Worrying

Ok, I had to replace chapter 1 with a slightly altered version, because (as I just noticed) the end of the old ch. 1 read: "I stumbled up the stairs to my room and fell into bed, fervently hoping that things would make more sense in the morning", yet, in ch. 2, Tasuki talks to Nuriko _before_ going to bed. *Oops...*

Disclaimer: I only wish I owned FY.

Warning: WHY do I have to put this every time? You should all know that it's yaoi by now.

-------True Happiness-------

Where in the world had Tas" come from? I silently berated myself. Why did you have to call him that in front of someone else?

__

He called you Chiri' first' a tiny voice at the back of my head piped up. _And you did tell him that you'd call him Tas' if he called you that.'_

I shook my head. At least Tasuki hadn't seemed to mind the nickname. He would have said something if it bothered him. That's the way he is. Isn't he?

These thoughts were going nowhere. All they were doing was keeping me from sleeping. I rolled over. Tomorrow morning, I'd find a quiet place to meditate, and try to clear my head.

***

"Tas", I muttered. There isn't really another way to shorten my name...except for 'Suki. I reddened a little at the thought of Chichiri calling me something that means likes' or favorite'. 

On second thought, "Tas" was fine.

It wasn't really the nickname that bothered me, it was the person who'd given it to me. No, that wasn't right; Chichiri didn't bother me at all. The way I felt about Chichiri bothered me. He was a monk, for Suzaku's sake! Monks aren't allowed to...

I stopped in mid-thought; thinking like this was making me distinctly uncomfortable. I don't know why; I'm not a virgin, but Chichiri was different, somehow. And then it hit me.

It didn't matter to me if Chichiri and I never had sex. It did hurt to think that he might never return my feelings, but the physical aspect of our relationship wasn't important to me.

I _loved_ him.

My eyes widened. Shit. I was in deeper than I'd thought. 

***

I tossed and turned, unable to get comfortable, unable to close my eyes for very long. I tried breathing deeply, I tried imagining myself into the most peaceful places I could think of...

It didn't work.

Finally, just before sunrise, I gave up. I wasn't going to get to sleep. My thoughts wouldn't allow it. I knew I would have to talk to Tasuki soon. I wasn't sure how long I could last without sleep.

I slipped out of bed and went in search of a quiet corner. I peered into the library.

Chiriko was sitting at a table, snoring softly. He'd apparently fallen asleep over the scroll he had been studying. I smiled to myself and moved on.

I finally found a small room at the eastern side of the house. It had a large window, and it looked as though it may have been built for the owner of the house to watch the sunrise. No one was in it now, however. 

I sat down cross-legged, facing the window. I closed my eyes. I breathed in and out, counting the breaths in groups of ten. I focused on the breathing, trying to shut everything else out.

***

Around sunrise, I gave up on trying to sleep. When I'd been in love with Nuriko, even _before_ I'd told him, I'd never lost sleep over it. 

But, again, Chichiri was different. And somehow, now that I knew how I felt about him, I was both more and less confused than I'd been before.

I stepped quietly out of my room, hoping that taking a walk would help me think clearly. 

Wandering through the house, I passed the room where Mitsukake was sleeping. I passed the library, where Chiriko'd fallen asleep over some scroll or other.

I paused at the door to Chichiri's room. It couldn't hurt just to look at him, could it? What harm could that do? 

I pushed the door open slowly, trying not to let it creak. I peered through the doorway.

He wasn't there.

I looked around his room, my eyes finding his staff, his kasa, and his kesa. I was relieved, knowing he'd never leave the house without them.

I grinned. My walk just took on a new purpose.

I was going Chichiri-hunting.

***

Through my eyelids, I could tell that the room was getting lighter. The sun must be rising,' I thought.

I continued to count my breaths, slowly calming into a trance-like state. 

And then, I felt his chi. I smiled.

He came closer, and then stopped at the door of the room I was in. I could almost feel his eyes boring into by back.

***

I crept silently through the halls. If I were a Chichiri, where would I hide?' I asked myself. It was around the time for sunrise. Chichiri liked nature. He'd probably be somewhere where he could see the sunrise.

I turned eastward.

At times, being a bandit comes in handy. I'm very good at walking quietly. I was grateful for this ability a few minutes later, when I found the room Chichiri was in. 

It was a simple room, with very few furnishings. There was a chair against the wall by the door, and a table beside the chair. That was all, except for Chichiri, who doesn't count as a furnishing.

He was sitting on the floor. His back was to me, since he was facing the large window opposite the door. His hair was clasped into a loose ponytail, which hung down his back. He was wearing a light cotton shirt and his normal forest-green pants. His feet were bare, which I could tell because he was sitting cross-legged, with his hands resting palms-down on his thighs. 

He was backlit softly by the first light of the sunrise, which threw him into a slight shadow.

I wished I could see his face.

I was glad I had walked up so quietly. The fact that he didn't know I was there meant I could just watch him for a few minutes.

"Ohayo, Tas," he said quietly, without turning around.

Damn. I'd forgotten about how he could sense chi.

-----To be continued

I don't think I did too well on this chapter, but I felt like I needed something like this in here. Not really sure why, I just felt like it was necessary. Anyway, I hope it didn't make you suffer too much. Sorry this chapter's short. I'll try to post again soon. If you could find it in your heart to review, I would really appreciate it. 

~Mikazuki


	9. Confessing

It took me a little longer to post this time. Gomen, gomen... I'm trying, ok?

I have reviews! I have a lot of reviews! ::jumps up and down:: Thank you!!

Disclaimer: I'd lend Chichiri to you, Xellas M., if he were mine to lend. Sadly, I don't own FY.

Warning: Fill it in yourself; you must know it by now.

--------True Happiness---------

"Ohayo, Chiri," I said sheepishly.

"Come in if you want to, no da." He still didn't turn.

I stepped into the room, and Chichiri patted the floor beside him. I obliged by sitting down beside him, full of a happy nervousness.

Now he turned to me, and I noticed that he wasn't wearing his mask. Because of this, I could see that he was smiling. 

"Couldn't sleep, no da?"

I nodded. There were too many things bothering me for me to sleep.

Chichiri nodded. "I couldn't sleep, either, no da. Too many things bothering me."

I blinked. Had he just read my mind?

"What's botherin' ya, Chiri?" I hoped fervently that it wasn't something I'd done.

"Nothing important, no da."

"It must be important, if yer losin' sleep over it."

He shook his head. "It's nothing you should worry about, no da." He looked away from me.

Slightly offended, I moved so that I was directly in front of him. "Yer my friend, Chiri! If somethin's botherin' ya, I wanna help. I--" I cut myself off just short of saying something that I really couldn't say, if I wanted my first statement to stay true.

***

I looked at him curiously. What had he been about to say?

"A'course I worry when yer losin' sleep over somethin'." He finished quietly.

"Thanks, no da." I said softly. "But it isn't really something I'm ready to talk about." _Especially not with you,_ I added silently. _What would you think of me if you knew?_ "Anyway, that's why I came here to meditate, no da. It helps me to think through things more clearly."

He seemed to accept my explanation. He nodded. "When yer ready, though, just remember ya can talk t'me, ne?"

I smiled. "When the time comes, I'll tell you, no da." _The time may never come, though. It's more important to me that you don't hate me._

"Well, good." He fell silent, then piped up, "Ne, Chiri?"

"Hm?" 

"That meditatin' stuff..." he paused. "Is it jest fer monks, 'r can anyone do it?"

"Anyone can meditate, no da." I looked over at him, noting the traces of worry on his face. "Something on your mind, Tas?"

He smiled. "Nothin' you need ta worry about, no da."

I smiled back. "All right, no da. I know when I shouldn't ask any more."

He laughed. "I was serious about the meditatin' though. Uh...how d'you do it?"

"You just focus away from your thoughts. You should breathe slowly, and you may want to count your breaths to help you focus, no da."

He nodded. I was a little amazed that he could take something like this so seriously. He seemed like the type of person who wouldn't be particularly interested in spiritual things. Then again, he was a Suzaku Seishi. Maybe I underestimated him in that particular area.

***

It sounded easy enough, but not thinking is harder than it sounds. Trying not to think made me nervous. I decided I wasn't doing it right.

"Ne, Chiri?"

"Hm?"

"Um...how d'you stop thinking?"

He laughed. "Don't try to stop thinking, Tas. Let yourself think. Whenever you think about something, just sort of dismiss it. Tell yourself that whatever worry just popped up will work out, and that you'll think about the solution later."

With practice, I think I could figure out how to do that, and someday I probably will. But that was my first time meditating, and I just didn't quite get it. Maybe I was a little too nervous about being so close to Chichiri. I was sitting directly opposite him, my knees almost touching his. It was a little hard to focus on anything at the moment.

So, I settled for just watching Chichiri as he meditated. Oddly enough, that did calm me down. He looked so peaceful.

I think watching Chichiri must have hypnotic effect. Twice I caught myself leaning towards him.

The third time I didn't.

***

As I was meditating, I could feel something strange happening to Tasuki's chi. I've never been good at reading emotions through chi, but even I could feel the change._ The meditation must be working._

From his chi, it seemed as though Tasuki had been lulled into a state of happiness and...something else I couldn't identify. 

And then I felt something gently pressing against my lips.

I opened my eyes in surprise.

Tasuki was kissing me!

I admit it, in my shock, I think I 'eep'ed. 

In my shock, I also pulled my head back, just a little.

It was enough.

Tasuki's chi returned to normal, and his eyes opened, then widened in horror.

***

I didn't realize I was kissing Chichiri until he pulled away from me. Suddenly I didn't feel calm at all anymore.

What had I done?

"Gods, Chiri, I'm so sorry! I never meant fer anything like that t' happen...I didn't want ya t'find out..." I turned and tried to leave quickly, but Chichiri was quicker. He grabbed my arm.

"Find out what, Tas?" His voice was calm, but there was an odd undertone of urgency to his words.

The use of his nickname for me reassured me enough that I could whisper the words I knew I had to say.

"I love ya, Chiri..."

***

He didn't turn around. His shoulders had taken on a dejected slump, and he whispered so quietly that I barely caught the words. 

But I understood them.

In my surprise, I loosened my grip on his arm.

***

As soon as I felt his grip go slack, I pulled my arm away and fled down the hall. He didn't try to stop me.

I couldn't talk to him right now. 

I ran away from the one I loved, heading towards my room. I didn't look back.

I couldn't bear to see the anger and revulsion I knew must be on his face.

------------To be continued...

I know you're all cursing me right now for what I did to Tasuki. Think of it this way: Chichiri suffers in "I Just Want Him to be Happy", so it wouldn't be fair if Tasuki got off easily...ok, that explanation was awful. I'll just say 'don't hate me too much,' ok?

I was going to write this chapter differently, with Chichiri stopping Tasuki and telling him how he felt, but when the time came, it just didn't feel right. So I wrote it this way. I know, it's horribly cliched, but I hope you liked it anyway.

Now, I want your opinion: Should Chichiri catch up to Tasuki in the hall, or should Tasuki successfully evade him for a while? Tell me what you think.

~Mikazuki


	10. Reassuring

Most of you didn't tell me what you thought...GreenFire did, though, and Mangaland brought up a good point, too.

So, going by those things, I've decided...to let you read the chapter and find out which one I picked.

Thankyou thankyou thankyou to my reviewers! I love you guys! 

Disclaimer: Can't you tell I don't own it? Tasuki and Chichiri aren't a couple in the series!

Warning: I'm getting really annoyed with writing this. If the shounen-ai content hasn't bothered you by now, then it probably won't.

-----------True Happiness------------

I sat in front of the large window, completely unaware that the sun was rising and painting the sky brilliant shades of red and orange. All I could think of was Tasuki: the look of horror on his face when he realized what he'd done, the dejected slump of his shoulders, the panic then sadness in his voice as he tried to apologize and told me how he felt, and...

The feel of his lips on mine... 

How could it seem so real? It couldn't have happened.

Could it?

***

I ran down the hall without really noticing where I was going. This time I didn't take care to muffle my footsteps, and I think I may have woken Chiriko up. I didn't care.

How could I have been so _stupid? _

I cursed myself as I let my feet carry me wherever they wanted. I just knew that I was headed away from Chichiri, and that was enough.

'He must hate me now...' 

__

'You don't know that. You didn't give him time to react.' To my annoyance, the voice at the back of my brain had returned.

'He pulled away! Don't you call that a reaction?'

__

'You surprised him.'

'Hell yeah. I surprised myself. I don't think he thought it was a good surprise, though.'

__

'You don't know.'

'Shut up.' I was _not _in the mood to talk with figments of my imagination.

***

Breakfast the next day was very quiet.

Tasuki wasn't there.

I wanted to talk to him. I needed to know what had actually happened in that room where I'd meditated. Had he even been there at all?

I don't trust my imagination.

After I had eaten, I went off looking for my friend. He couldn't be very far away. 

At least, I hoped he couldn't.

***

The next morning, I woke up late. I'd spent an uncomfortable night in a small room at the western end of the house. At first, I was disoriented. My room was in the center of the house...what was I doing in the west wing, and in some kind of storage cupboard, to boot?

And then I remembered, and wished that I hadn't. 

Chichiri.

What was I going to say when I saw him?

What was _he _going to say when I saw him?

'Maybe it would be better if I didn't see him,' I thought.

But how could I avoid that?

I smiled to myself. A bandit has ways...

***

I couldn't find him anywhere. I looked all over the house, and I didn't see him anywhere. Oddly, his chi seemed to be close to me all day. 

I had the distinct impression that I was being followed. 

I tried to act as though I couldn't tell that Tasuki was nearby, hoping that sooner or later he'd let his guard down, and I could see him.

Of course, I'd discounted the fact that he was a bandit.

***

The best way to keep someone from finding you is to keep an eye on them. So, all day long, I followed Chichiri around the house. I realized quickly that he was looking for me.

I'd just have to be more careful.

Luckily, this house had a ton of empty rooms I could duck into when Chichiri looked around. 

I knew he could tell that I was following him. I'd forgotten about how he can sense chi once already, and look at the trouble that got me into. I wasn't about to make a mistake like that again. So I was aware that Chichiri knew I was there.

It was just another reason to be careful.

He wasn't acting as though he sensed me, but I wasn't fooled. I refused to let him trick me into carelessness even once.

It wasn't until I'd followed him for a while that I started to wonder.

Why was he looking for me?

***

He was good. I hadn't even gotten a glimpse of him once all day, and it was starting to make me mad. Why was he hiding, anyway?

Did he actually kiss me this morning?

It would explain his mysterious absence. Still, I couldn't quite believe that the kiss had been anything more than a dream I'd had after slipping off to sleep while meditating.

But Tasuki had never run away from me in a dream...and I had dreamed about him a few times.

All right, quite a few times.

All the same, he had run this time, and now he was hiding.

And I was getting annoyed.

***

I would have thought that he'd be avoiding me like the plague after this morning. Yet, here he was, looking for me. Chichiri wasn't the kind of person to go this far just to call someone a freak. 

Chichiri wasn't the kind of person to call someone a freak at all.

So why was he trying to find me?

__

'He wants to talk to you,'

Damn. That stupid voice was back.

'I thought I told you to shut up...'

__

'You asked a question, and I answered. Is that a crime?'

I just shook my head. I was getting weirder.

***

I spent the whole day waiting for Tasuki to show himself.

He never did.

He was always there, though. I could feel him at the edge of my mind. I wanted to turn around and make him come out, but he obviously didn't want to talk to me. I didn't want to force him to do anything. So finally I gave up. I went to bed, though I felt sure I wouldn't sleep.

I was wrong on that. I was out nearly as soon as my head hit the pillow.

***

I followed Chichiri as he went back to his room. After he'd gone in, I listened at the door until I heard his breathing even out into the sound of sleep.

Slowly and noiselessly, I pushed the door open.

Chichiri was lying asleep on his bed, half-covered by the thin sheet that was standard in this part of Sairou. His mouth was slightly open, and his eye was closed softly.

I stepped over to the bed and pulled the sheet the rest of the way over him. Then, smiling slightly, I left. 

I went to my room to lie down. I wouldn't sleep. I couldn't. But I had to rest, at least.

I watched the moon through my window, and the night wore on.

***

I only got a few hours of sleep. I tossed and turned the rest of the night, and again I rose before sunrise.

I needed to meditate.

I went back to the little room at the eastern end of the house. Today I would watch the sunrise, to make up for the one I'd missed yesterday.

Content, I settled myself in front of the window and began my breathing.

***

A little while before sunrise, I got up. I wasn't sure why, I just felt as though I couldn't lie there anymore. My feet seemed to know where I was going, and it wasn't until it was too late that I recognized my destination.

"Back again, Tas, no da?"

***

I patted the space beside me on the floor. Tasuki didn't respond, and I felt a flicker of nervousness in his chi.

"Come in, no da," I turned to him. The look on his face made me blink. He looked so...scared. "Please." I added.

He entered, and sat down in the chair at the back of the room, much to my disappointment.

"Are you angry with me, no da?" I asked.

He seemed startled. "Wha—Why would ya think somethin' like that?"

"You've been avoiding me all day, no da. I thought that I'd done something wrong."

Tasuki looked shocked.

***

What did he mean, had _he _done something wrong? I was the one who'd kissed him! Didn't he remember?

"Whatever it is, I'm sorry, no da. I don't want you to be angry with me."

"Ya shouldn't be sorry!" I exclaimed. "I'm th' one that should be sorry."

He looked confused. "Tas, what do you have to be sorry for, na no da?"

I was shocked. "This mornin'? I...well, don't ya remember?"

He looked surprised. "That—that really happened, no da?" he whispered.

I hung my head. I was just about to start apologizing again, when he continued.

"I thought I dreamed it, no da..."

My eyes widened. "Ya...y'dream about me?" I carefully kept my voice steady.

He blushed brilliantly. "Um...daaaaa..." He stared at the floor.

***

Why had I said that? Why did I tell him that I dreamed about him? My answer when he asked about it had just made the situation worse, but I couldn't help it. I can never keep my face from reddening when I'm embarrassed. 

I turned away from him, trying to get my face back to its normal color.

I heard him get up from the chair and come up behind me. "Do ya really?" he said interestedly.

There went all chances of getting my normal coloring back. I nodded, my cheeks feeling as though they were on fire. 

He turned me to face him, leaving his hand on my cheek for a minute after I'd turned. "What do ya dream about me?" he asked softly.

***

If the situation hadn't been so serious, I would have grinned as Chichiri's cheeks got even redder.

He's so cute when he's embarrassed.

I did smile a little. From the look on his face, I could guess what kind of dreams he'd had. He couldn't even meet my eyes.

I lifted his chin so that I could look him in the eye. "It's a'right. Ya don't have t' tell me."

I smiled at him, and he smiled slightly, too.

I let go of his chin. He turned away from me again, and after a few moments he spoke.

"Tas?"

"H'm?"

"Did...did you mean it...this morning, what you said..."

"Yeah," I nodded.

He faced me. "Good."

I looked at him; the expression he was wearing looked like someone on the edge of a cliff, about to jump, and unsure of what was going to happen. He just knew he had to do it.

"Because I love you too, no da."

***

Tasuki didn't just smile. His whole face lit up. "Chiri..." he said, pulling me into his arms.

I let my head rest on his shoulder, feeling for some reason as though I was going to cry.

Tasuki pulled back a little. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing, no da." I sniffled. "Everything's perfect."

He smiled and brushed away a tear. Then he leaned forward, just barely brushing his lips against mine. He started to pull away, but I leaned in and he stopped.

It was the way a first kiss should be, gentle, caring, sweet and just a little hesitant. 

Never mind that it was our second kiss. 

When Tasuki pulled away, he was smiling. I was, too. I could tell without even seeing myself that I was grinning like an idiot. It didn't matter.

Tasuki loved me!

But...

"Tas..." I didn't want to ruin the moment, but I had to know. "What...what about Nuriko, no da?"

Tasuki smiled sadly. "Yer wonderin' if I'm just on rebound, right?"

He didn't give me time to respond, which was good, because I didn't know how to respond to that.

"I broke up with Nuriko th' night before we found th' Shinzaho. I didn't love him like I thought I did. 

An' the way I feel about ya is different, Chiri. It's...deeper'n what I felt fer Nuriko. I think I always loved ya, an' I just didn't realize it."

I didn't have to ask if that was true. The truth was right there, on his face. 

I hugged him tightly.

"Chiri?" 

"Mm hm?"

"I just got one question..."

I looked up at him. "What's that, Tas, no da?"

"_Now _can I call ya Chiri-chan?"

------Up on Mt Taikyoku----

Taiitsukun watched the spirit of a certain purple-haired seishi as he was sighing happily. "I just love happy endings, don't you?" he asked. "Particularly when I helped to bring them about."

The creator looked sternly at Nuriko. "If you ask me, you enjoyed being a voice in the back of their heads too much."

"Why are you using the past tense?" Nuriko asked warily.

"Your job is over now. You won't be doing it any more."

"Nani?" Nuriko said in disappointment. "But it was so fun!"

"You're going to stop now. You finished your work. It's time for you to be reborn."

"But...but things are just getting good!" Nuriko gestured to the mirror showing Tasuki and Chichiri.

Taiitsukun made the mirror go blank. "They'll be all right. I'll make sure of it."

Nuriko sighed. Then his eyes took on a mischievous gleam. "Ne, Taiitsukun-sama?"

"What is it, now, Nuriko?"

"Since I was such a good helper when you were trying to get Tasuki and Chichiri together, could I ask a small favor?"

"It was your idea to get them together in the first place..." Taiitsukun looked nervous. She had a pretty good idea of what the 'favor' Nuriko wanted was.

"Only because I knew how they felt about each other. Things like that are so obvious when you're dead, it's hard to see how you can miss them when you're alive. Anyway, you always want soulmates to get together, Taiitsukun, and I just pointed out a pair."

"All right, ask your favor."

Nuriko smiled brightly. "When I'm reborn, could I be a woman?"

Taiitsukun rolled her eyes. She'd known it. "You're already close enough. I suppose there's no harm in it." In truth, Nuriko's constant energy was starting to wear on the controller of the world. It was almost like having another Nyan-Nyan. If letting him be a 'her' when he was reborn was all it took to get him to move on, that was fine.

Nuriko's smile got wider. "Arigatou, Taiitsukun!!" he gave the old woman a hug. "Can you arrange it so I'm with Hotohori-sama?"

Taiitsukun sighed, freeing herself from Nuriko's grasp. "I'll try,"

'And heaven help Hotohori if you do find him,' she added silently.

----------Owari------------

Wahoo! I finished it!! I can't believe I made it all the way to a tenth chapter...

That last scene, with Nuriko and Taiitsukun was originally just going to explain the 'voices in the back of the head' thing. I don't know how it got longer...Nuriko made me do it! I'm sorry about making Taiitsukun so annoyed with Nuriko. It just doesn't seem like their personalities would mix very easily. I hope you liked the fic, and that I did ok on the get-together scene. 

Now...what should I do for my next fic...

~Mikazuki


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